In India, most of the marriages are arranged and the future husband wife haven't talked to each other or lived with each other for more than a month. Its just random and calculated. No-one cares about the compatibility, its presumed they will be happily adjusting forever. So this is a real life story that happened to one of my friends.
Ananya lived and worked in mumbai, she had a job with quite good pay and a lot of friends. While she was nearing 26, her parents wanted her to get married as soon as possible. They came to know of a guy around 28 working in bangalore from same caste. The meeting was arranged, ananya entered with tea in her hands and it was love at first sight. Within three months, they were married. In their first meeting in her house, the only question he asked her if she can cook and she replied with a grin on her face, i can do anything but cook. She told him she was a tested lousy cook. Well, rohan thought it was some kind of joke, they barely knew each other to react in a natural way. First few meetings are too sweet and give nothing else but reminder of sweet cuddly ideal love stories we all are wishing to be a part of.
Three months passed and they were husband wife. Ananya left her job and moved to bangalore, rohan's dad had undergone some serious surgery and both mum dad of rohan came to live with them. She could feel her romantic expectations fading with every passing day. While she was trying to make it work, Rohan too was trying a lot. He would help her in cooking, help her with dishes. Their daily routine would be getting up at 7 am to cook for the parents. For a few months, this worked but we all go back to our old habits, some days she just slept off more and his parents got offended with the idea that their working son had to cook. They were in love and with the hope it will work, both of them kept going on.
Few more months passed , ananya had no friends to talk to, she was cringing to get back to her life but marriage came with rules that said no job , no maid for house. See this is what they forgot to talk about. Ananya didn't like cooking, Rohan knew what she was going through but he leaned more towards his parents. It was in his blood, all he wanted her to do was what other wives do in most of india. But sadly ananya's dreams were thrashed, thats what arrange marriage does to you when it goes wrong. Either get moulded or die suffocating. She told her mum everything from cooking mishaps to rare rude taunts from in laws. On his way back from office, rohan would see her talking to her mum for hours. Well, he couldn't help unless she came to him instead of going to mum's lap. There was a bit of immaturity and lack of communication.
After some time. parents left but damage was done. To add to it, when they visited her cousins in mumbai, rohan won't let her wear jeans even with her own cousins. She felt horrible and insulted and powerless. I know, rohan kind of over did it and comes out as a jerk, but 60 percent of indian men are like this, it was just not a good match made by parents. They went back to bangalore, now their relationship was kind of dead. She wanted him to get flowers, taker her to ccd and may be a few trips to mauritius but it all just won't happen, rohan wasn't the romantic kind. As her patience was on an all time low and with a mother who agreed to everything she said, ananya left the house for diwali and never came back. Rohan didn't even know she was gone.
Ananya, rohan never fought , there was no domestic violence, the chemistry was just not there with parents around, love can't blossom around so many distractions. And thats where arrange marriages fail. Weak person would just stay and suffer, somehow average person will stay and make it work for good, but the strong quirky ones just leave. Sadly in india, 70 percent of girls like ananya never get married again, they are single for a pretty long life.
Rohan called her a lot, tried to convince her to come back but she wanted his parents to never visit ever. People like me who were around the couple, still believe it could have worked if she waited for a little more months, they were both sweet and lovable. With parents not in picture, they were just perfect, she could have easily made rohan accept her flaws with clothing and rohan had the chance to be with a girl who was fun and cute. She was the just the bestest for him. The complimented each other. Her parents fueled her anger and resentment towards rohan and parents, his parents just labelled her too modern to marry.
Last I heard, ananya filed for divorce and accused rohan and his parents of dowry and asked for all the money back that they spent on this wedding. Rohan paid off everything , he was way too frustrated and angry. Ananya is confined to small district satna with no life at all. She wanted to come back to rohan but he is now over her. And coming august rohan is getting married again to a small town girl while ananya is still alone regretting her decisions.
Well I believe if only ananya would have gone back to her life in mumbai, it could have turned out to be one of the best escapes she ever had. They could have made it work too, i have seen a lot of friends of mine who live in US with guys like rohan, their facebook is full of their booze parties and short dresses. The saddest part is ananya could be that girl. She lost patience a little early. Everything comes with time. To get a custom made guy, you have to make a friend and then turn him into that guy and marry him.
Ananya lived and worked in mumbai, she had a job with quite good pay and a lot of friends. While she was nearing 26, her parents wanted her to get married as soon as possible. They came to know of a guy around 28 working in bangalore from same caste. The meeting was arranged, ananya entered with tea in her hands and it was love at first sight. Within three months, they were married. In their first meeting in her house, the only question he asked her if she can cook and she replied with a grin on her face, i can do anything but cook. She told him she was a tested lousy cook. Well, rohan thought it was some kind of joke, they barely knew each other to react in a natural way. First few meetings are too sweet and give nothing else but reminder of sweet cuddly ideal love stories we all are wishing to be a part of.
Three months passed and they were husband wife. Ananya left her job and moved to bangalore, rohan's dad had undergone some serious surgery and both mum dad of rohan came to live with them. She could feel her romantic expectations fading with every passing day. While she was trying to make it work, Rohan too was trying a lot. He would help her in cooking, help her with dishes. Their daily routine would be getting up at 7 am to cook for the parents. For a few months, this worked but we all go back to our old habits, some days she just slept off more and his parents got offended with the idea that their working son had to cook. They were in love and with the hope it will work, both of them kept going on.
Few more months passed , ananya had no friends to talk to, she was cringing to get back to her life but marriage came with rules that said no job , no maid for house. See this is what they forgot to talk about. Ananya didn't like cooking, Rohan knew what she was going through but he leaned more towards his parents. It was in his blood, all he wanted her to do was what other wives do in most of india. But sadly ananya's dreams were thrashed, thats what arrange marriage does to you when it goes wrong. Either get moulded or die suffocating. She told her mum everything from cooking mishaps to rare rude taunts from in laws. On his way back from office, rohan would see her talking to her mum for hours. Well, he couldn't help unless she came to him instead of going to mum's lap. There was a bit of immaturity and lack of communication.
After some time. parents left but damage was done. To add to it, when they visited her cousins in mumbai, rohan won't let her wear jeans even with her own cousins. She felt horrible and insulted and powerless. I know, rohan kind of over did it and comes out as a jerk, but 60 percent of indian men are like this, it was just not a good match made by parents. They went back to bangalore, now their relationship was kind of dead. She wanted him to get flowers, taker her to ccd and may be a few trips to mauritius but it all just won't happen, rohan wasn't the romantic kind. As her patience was on an all time low and with a mother who agreed to everything she said, ananya left the house for diwali and never came back. Rohan didn't even know she was gone.
Ananya, rohan never fought , there was no domestic violence, the chemistry was just not there with parents around, love can't blossom around so many distractions. And thats where arrange marriages fail. Weak person would just stay and suffer, somehow average person will stay and make it work for good, but the strong quirky ones just leave. Sadly in india, 70 percent of girls like ananya never get married again, they are single for a pretty long life.
Rohan called her a lot, tried to convince her to come back but she wanted his parents to never visit ever. People like me who were around the couple, still believe it could have worked if she waited for a little more months, they were both sweet and lovable. With parents not in picture, they were just perfect, she could have easily made rohan accept her flaws with clothing and rohan had the chance to be with a girl who was fun and cute. She was the just the bestest for him. The complimented each other. Her parents fueled her anger and resentment towards rohan and parents, his parents just labelled her too modern to marry.
Last I heard, ananya filed for divorce and accused rohan and his parents of dowry and asked for all the money back that they spent on this wedding. Rohan paid off everything , he was way too frustrated and angry. Ananya is confined to small district satna with no life at all. She wanted to come back to rohan but he is now over her. And coming august rohan is getting married again to a small town girl while ananya is still alone regretting her decisions.
Well I believe if only ananya would have gone back to her life in mumbai, it could have turned out to be one of the best escapes she ever had. They could have made it work too, i have seen a lot of friends of mine who live in US with guys like rohan, their facebook is full of their booze parties and short dresses. The saddest part is ananya could be that girl. She lost patience a little early. Everything comes with time. To get a custom made guy, you have to make a friend and then turn him into that guy and marry him.
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